Tuesday, August 9, 2016

Real Personalities of Breastfed Babies


I don't know about your little eater, but my baby seems to have the widest range of emotions and personalities that come out only through her eating style. Each feeding is a surprise- I never know which feeding personality I will be dealing with that day. There are so many different moods that come out when she's eating, and I'm sure the it's the same with your lo. Here are just a few of the many real personalities of breast-fed babies!

The self-sabotaging eater
This baby hasn't quite figured out how to control their arms and legs. When frustrated baby pushes against mom with her arms, she wonders what is keeping her from latching. Just when mom pins the arms down, baby pushes against the arm of the chair with her legs and unlatches. Baby gets infuriatingly frustrated at this force keeping her from latching! If only she knew that she was the culprit...

The head banger (aka the woodpecker)
This one usually goes hand in hand with the self-sabotage. Once mom is using both hands to hold down the rogue arms and legs, the unsupported head bangs against her chest trying to latch. This is a lose-lose feeding scenario. Once mom lets go of some limbs to support the head, baby repeats self-sabotage as stated above.

The NOT asleep eater
This baby isn't eating, she's asleep! Try to pull away and she is determined to show you she isn't asleep at all! Suck, suck, suck! And then back to sleep...until you try to pull her off again. Suck, suck, suck! Who can pull away from this little eater that keeps snuggling in?

Intimate romantic
This baby wants to look deep into your eyes while eating. And stroke you gently with her little hands...ahhh! It is so sweet, but sometimes that look is too intense... I swear that baby can see right into your soul!

Food critic
This baby has something to grumble and complain about and wants mom to know it. Oh she'll eat all right, but you're going to hear about it. "Mrrm, mrrm, mrrrrm..."

Playing with her food
Not hungry anymore but definitely not finished playing! This baby likes to lick, rub their nose back and forth, and blow milk bubbles all over mom.

Down to business
No games, just milk. Eyes ahead and steady sucking, that's all.

Lazy messy eater
When baby latches sort of and then unlatches with a mouthful of milk, dumps said milk all over you and repeats until you are both so slippery that latching is impossible, and you both have to change clothes.

Angry eater
This one consists of more screaming at your chest than actual eating. Baby is hungry, but way too mad to do anything about it. Or maybe she's not hungry...but either way the joke is on mom because she sure has mom stressed out trying to get baby to latch while she leaks everywhere.

Worm on a hook
This one only happens when baby is in a swaddle. They latch on and then wiggle their whole body around like a worm on a hook. Not sure if they are trying to free their arms but they sure won't unlatch to give mom the chance to take them out!

Snooty eater
You've seen this one. Eyebrows raised, noise in the air, stating just over mom's shoulder at something much more important. "Mom, I'm to good to give you eye contact today."

The satisfied customer
This is a happy eater with no complaints. She quietly finishes her meal and unlatches with a satisfied smile and a little "ahhh..."

The glutton (aka milk drink)
When baby eats just past the satisfied customer stage and continues into complete unconsciousness. Hope mom wasn't planning on play time after because this flopped over baby is good for nothing but a nap!

The greedy eater
This baby doesn't realize that mom only has two sides. She eats on the first sides, burps, the second side, burps, and then is ready for the third side... How long will it take before she realizes that side three is actually side one again?

The anxious eater
This baby is worried that you will run out of milk any second. She eats so fast that she chokes and makes anxious noises as she frantically eats. Where does she get the idea that there won't be any milk? She eats all the time and it's always there!

The bluffer (aka the pacifier)
She acts like she's hungry, so mom offers food. Baby latches happily, sucks for like two seconds and goes to sleep. Can't believe mom fell for that!

The multi-tasker
Baby is hungry but also needs to go #2. This involves a mix of intermittent sucking and straining. No real eating happens until the deed is done. Let's face it- babies are horrible at multitasking.

The independent eater
This baby's motto is "I can do it all by myself!" Don't try to help this baby latch. A lack of motor skills will not stop this baby from trying to latch on her own. Too bad her hands end up in the way and she latches on those instead. But don't try to help, mom, really, I got this...

The fidgety eater
This baby has busy little hands while eating. Pulling on mom's shirt and hair, sometimes even her face, scratching tiny fingernails on mom's arm, etc. Mom finally offers a finger for her to hold on to, but we all know that won't satisfy the fidgeter for long!

The burper
For the baby with reflux, this is a common one. They get halfway through a feeding and then feel that air bubble in their belly and start to flop and writhe around in pain. Burping is not in order, but they don't have time for that! You will hear all about how hungry they are during the burp break until eating is resumed. This can happen countless times in a single feeding.

The biter
They say not to bite the hand that feeds you, and the same should be applied by this little eater! Enough said.

There are really more than I can list! Which ones does your little one use most often? Which ones did I leave out? I would love to hear your additions to the list!